trying to get pregnant?

Seems like my maternal instinct is merging from me. Somewhere within me that wanted to get pregnant. I even think pregnant woman is sexy. I even stumble over a blog about women trying to be single mother. And this make me more longing to get pregnant.

I have not found the right guy to get married yet. For now, I am not even in any relationship. Relationship give me headache. So I am kind of not eager to look for one. If I met the guy, maybe he will have hard time to pursue me.

I am living in a small conservative town in Malaysia. So one night stand to get me pregnant is not a good choice. Biological father of the baby may track me down easily and will take the baby away from me, or force me to marry him even when I do not love him. Society pressure will makes my life hard, and will complicate child bringing up experience.

AF??

I still prefer to get body contact and the pleasure of making baby. heehehehehe. No pain involved!

Baloney baloney

Baloney again.

He knows that I do not like him. I know he knows.
In the place where i work, nothing can be too serious. We won't fight with fist.

Baloney complains about me to his colleague, who is my friend.
My friend told me about it.

Baloney told my colleague that I am crazy.
I told that same colleague that he is crazy too.

So we are equal now.

Whenever he is around me, I treat him as a transparent glass.
My ear is close to his voice.

He is still young and I am more matured. He is too young to understand what he is doing. So maybe I should forgive this little boy, try to be good to him.

MAYBE I WON'T.....

Anger

Anger is bad. This emotion can cause many brain cell die.
No wonder I am feeling headache now. It is like going to burst.

Balloooon

One morning, I woke up, still in a zombie state, had shower and was standing near my cabinet with limited light. I saw a round shining green with white stripes thingy on my friend's bed. My first imagination is an alien's egg. Then I remember she just get a balloon. It is her 'egg'.

The origin of the balloon:

HSE gave out leftover key chains and balloons to us few days ago. My friend who work in QC dept. She and her boss took a balloon each.

After one hour, she came into my office telling me that there is a baloney in QC office. He popped her boss' balloon. She said "I am not going to let him pop my balloon, I am taking my balloon to my room."

Too much balloon in QC makes someone baloney!

Facebook

First thing everyone do when they have a chance to online will open facebook. It is like first thing in the morning is facebook. When you have nothing to do, do facebook. It is like there is nothing else you can do online.

Some people even exposed about what happen in their relationship with their spouse or gf or bf. It is kind of pathetic to me. I thought things between a couple suppose to be discreet. I do not need everyone to know when I am fighting with my bf. There can be an exceptional case, if a guy put 'in relationship' for marriage status. It can mean that the guy may be serious about the relationship.
It is just an assumption. Never trust an assumption.

Facebook can be fun if you try to make something is only meant for yourself, but actually back stabbing someone on purpose. Sound mean to me. Posting what is on your mind loudly can be harmful to yourself and especially when your boss is also in your name list. My last boss was in my friend's list, and I am not intending to add my current boss as my friend. It can be harmful for him and myself.

I don't like to complain too loud, but i do like to complain and swear on my boss on my mind. So if I purposely share what is on my mind when I am swearing on my boss. Everyone in my company will know how bad he is to me. Poor boss.

I am getting bored of doing facebook, although I still do facebook.

Privacy

Have anyone's presence intimidating you?
Here is one person's attitude in intimidating me.
Her way of noticing everyone's movement and way of life is somehow annoying.
Even when she start to talk to me in casual way, I find it very disturbing. Suddenly I will feel like 'did I do something wrong this time?'
Now I know what it feels like when privacy is invaded by someone or something.
Without knowing, I always invaded people's privacy. My sense can be very keen to everything around me. I can know how one lives, someone's background by looking at his friends, talking to that person, googling... Now I know I was wrong in so good in investigation about someone. I was actually STALKING!! INVADING PRIVACY!

Lesson to be learn: Do not be too busybody about someone!!

Beautiful day

Everyday is beautiful to me,

Sunset,

sunrise,

wave,

wind,

land,

fish,

cloud,

stars.

People around me are beautiful too,

Smiling me always get a smile back,

Desperation have lost, what is left only a relaxing heart,

Everyday beating for a better tomorrow,

Tomorrow will be better because nearer to the day I am going home.